letting go of 2010

Im borrowing these wise words from fellow blogger, Susannah Conway. Its a little depressing somehow but good to acknowledge nonetheless. It inspires me as I say goodbye to 2010 and look towards a year of happiness and love. Happy New Years eve friends.

Life is letting go.
It’s letting go of expectation.
Letting go of fear.
Letting go of doubt.
Letting go of the hurts.
Letting go of the disappointments.
Letting go of the needs.
Letting go of the stories.
Letting go of the untruths.
Letting go of that time you did that thing you shouldn’t have done.
Letting go of feeling foolish, knowing you were just young. Unformed. Learning. Trying.
Letting go of the need to be perfect. Correct. Proper.
Letting go of what’s expected of you, even if they’re your own expectations. Especially then.
Letting go of the voice in your head that tells you you are shit.
Letting go of the hatred of your skin. It’s just flesh. Just bones. Just your transportation on earth.
Letting go of the need to control what happens.
Letting go of feeling bad because you’re not letting go enough.


I’m starting to get it now. I really am. If you let this nonsense go, then your heart is open to all the good and love that is waiting. Bring it on 2011.

the farm

1200 acres in Anderson, SC has been in my husbands family for over 5 generations. It is a magnificent piece of land I feel very fortunate to have been able to explore by foot and kubota over the years we have been together. Each trip home there brings new adventures and things to discover. Each time I get to see a new barn that is hundreds of years old or a huge oak tree I have never noticed before.  It has a 300 acres lake in the center replete with ski jumps and a slalom course. Chase learned to water ski here when he was only two years old. His aunts and uncles all live around the lake which makes for impromptu family gatherings at any stage in the day. We have been fortunate enough to find two stray dogs on this farm over the years that we have brought back to Colorado with us, the best additions to our family that we could ever hope for. On this particular trip, I kept my eyes peeled the whole time in hopes another pup would decide to pick us again.

The inheritance tax will make this land impossible for the family to keep. Like so many families across the country, they will have to sell this property to be able to avoid major debt inherited to their children (me and chase). The property is for sale and is being pursued by a very wealthy British man who intends to buy this and the neighboring farm and move his family to the States. I guess if it must go, then its good that it will go to one family and will not loose its integrity by being subdivided and sold off. Many deals have been in play in the past and none have come to fruition but this one has the potential. Its necessary to sell but sad nonetheless.

I felt, as we rode around the farm with chases dad and brother this time, it would be the last. We spent all day out there as if we all quietly knew we would never have this chance together again.

625 dorothy drive

one of my favorite christmas photos of all time that i just found. christmas at mawmaw and pawpaw's in a living room that was 10ft x 12ft with 25 people in it. great memories

merry christmas to you and yours

mom or me?

they say you turn into your parents...its a scary thought but I hope so...

maw maw

My MawMaw turned 80 years old on December 23rd. For her birthday, I asked our family to send me images of her over the past 80 years, write a story about her or a letter and it has been amazing what has turned up. It has been very special for me to relive some of these memories and especially to see the look on her face as she flipped through the pages of this book I put together. We laughed and cried and laughed again over the few days I was with her. I am so grateful for his time I had with her and all the lessons I have learned from her.

The most important things I've learned are:

1. grandmothers are allowed to sneak you candy and no one has to know
2. any animal can join the family if it shows up on the porch and picks you over everyone else
3. always listen and never judge but when you judge, do it will a smile and kind heart
4. its better to speak with sugar than salt
5. if you dont tell family secrets to each other then no one can help
6. life was simpler when people had more defined roles and knew their purpose in life
7. belly laughs are good for your soul and contagious
8. livermush is not as scary as it sounds
9. its ok to dance like james brown
10. love your family no matter what they do, they're all you've got


Below are a few of my favorites photos:

yay snow

hello winter, its nice to see you.

dance party

sometimes spontaneous dance parties just happen. they come out of nowhere. they weed out the avoiders and embrace the enjoyers. and then all of a sudden cutting a rug is a mere understatement. you are doing the worm, the air double dutch and chairs become devices on which to stand and move.  there is nothing on this earth i love more. i feel so much better!

thank you sopris

There are moments sometimes, in the morning most often, before I have to be a wife or a daughter or a boss, moments when I can just sit with the view from my house and be a child of nature. These are nice moments and I am grateful for these places.

bird on a wire

12 reasons I'll count my blessings

I guess its kind of cliche to make a list on Thanksgiving of all the reasons your thankful. We typically go around the dinner table in my family and say it outloud to each other, i love doing this, but its good to write it down for those times in the year when you may need some reflection or a reminder of how blessed we truly are.

“Whatever our individual troubles and challenges may be, it’s important to pause every now and then to appreciate all that we have, on every level. We need to literally “count our blessings,” give thanks for them, allow ourselves to enjoy them, and relish the experience of prosperity we already have.” — Shakti Gawain

12 reasons Im thankful this year: 

1.  simple moments with those you love

2. all the chances I've had to see new places

3. Pepe and his cuddles

4. moments when I'm in awe at the power of nature

5. old friends that never get old

6. places to nap and decompress

7.  LuLu and the lessons she taught before she left

8.  chances to just have FUN

9.  a summer of horses and being truly in the moment

10.  all the new faces in my life this year

11.  Peace. Freedom.

12.  realizing that family matters most

Napa Morning

Really...its ok!

I want to go to there

I want to go to there....this is something I find myself almost always saying as the week comes to an end and I take my first deep breath...sad, I know. Actually, sometimes it happens in the middle of the week or even at the very beginning. If it has water, waves, sand, my husband and some music, I typically want to go to there. Somehow, the urge this week seems stronger than ever. Its November and its only 60 degrees in Colorado so I shouldn't even begin to complain about the cold, but there is a need for that one last sunburn, that one last salty lips kiss, no socks kind of freedom I am yearning for. I am happy in this place when I go there.

My Favorite Views

There is something about being on a horse and the view from that perch that has changed my life this past year. Even Fergus's little frostbit right ear makes me smile as I look down his long neck out to the peak of Mt. Sopris. I could sit up here all day. And because of this, and the happiness I get from this view, I thought Id start a section of my blog dedicated to My Favorite Views. Here we go..